A Healthy Stepmother . . . goes away.

I’m out of town on a business trip. It’s a great conference and I’m learning a ton. It’s not about stepmothers, but that’s the topic on my brain and I’ve been writing furiously and creating some new ideas for my upcoming support group.

I’ve been in touch with my husband daily, texting is a gift from the heavens. And, last night I helped one of the kids with an English paper, again, technology improves our possibilities at communication.

But I’m remembering one stepmother blog post I read a long time ago. The stepmother had gone away on business and she was feeling sad because no one missed her.

While here, I got to talking with one of the women I’m housed with. She is away for a week, like I am. She commented that her son and husband seemed to be doing just fine at home without her. She wondered aloud if they missed her. She is not a stepmother.

When I find aspects of our lives that occur because we are women, because we have a woman role in a kids’ life, when the pain we feel isn’t entirely because we are a stepmother . . . well, that’s when I feel validated, because, of course its not. Pain that is part of the experience of being in a role that every woman has brings us all to the same conversation, despite all the cultural dividing and comparisons and conflict between mothers and stepmothers.

I want us to look beyond the moment, the instance, and ask ourselves what normal is. Let’s ease up on attributing every slight or hurt or rejection as a result of being a stepmother. Mothers feel this way too!

One thought on “A Healthy Stepmother . . . goes away.

  1. Good one! It’s an excellent reminder to all of us.
    p.s. I downloaded “Stepmonster” to my kobo and am REALLY happy I did so. I want to get copies for my husband, stepchild, my family and friends. Like you suggested, it feels like it was written for ME.

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