A Healthy Stepmother . . . Amidst the Chaos

Is it just me or is there chaos in nearly every direction. Is it harder and harder to find peace, let alone peace and quiet? Is it now just as noisy inside your home as it is outside your home? Which came first, the inside noise or the outside noise? Though, maybe it doesn’t matter.

The cumulative effect of the busy-ness and rushing and roaring takes a toll. It wears you down and begins to lay heavy on your actions and your heart.

All of which means you work harder to keep your center and find a sense of things being right with the world.

Now, what helps us feel right with the world is different for everyone. For some, its religion. For others, running or cycling or taking part in sports. For others, it’s being in nature. Still others get lost in a book. And there can be combinations of all those.

The thing is, that toll it’s taking on you, it can cause you to snap at your loved one. It can cause you to doubt yourself. It can cause you to be less tolerant of the children you help support.

There aren’t new words of wisdom, I didn’t just wake up and find a new solution and rush to share it with you. If there was a solution, it wouldn’t be called our human condition.

But, I did listen to a podcast this week that seemed so very relevant. Rebecca Tippett, in her On Being podcast, interviewed Pauline Boss on The Myth of Closure. What ensued was a wonderful conversation about grief and unresolved loss and complicated loss. Divorce is one of the life events that qualifies to be labeled complicated loss.

You’re nodding your head. You know. Yeah, I know you do.

May you find space for some peace, and for some peace and quiet, amidst this complicated and chaotic life.

2 thoughts on “A Healthy Stepmother . . . Amidst the Chaos

  1. That is always my clue to SLOW THINGS DOWN: the snapping at my husband or children. If I don’t have patience and kindness for them after giving it all away to the rest of the world, then it’s time to step back and reassess. Often what uses up so much of my patience/energy is the step-parenting part of things. Sigh. Always learning the balance!

    • I think it takes extra energy because we have some confusing expectations about the whole process. Those are the days you want someone to greet you at the door with a cup of tea and say, “here this chair by the fire is for you, have a seat and rest for a few minutes, the kids are making dinner.” Ha, am I right? 😉

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